on the day my family and i get assaulted by a cup of coffee sailing through a driver's side window at the hands of a pouty and probably O.C.-crazed teen and her mother in a full-length fur coat in a Nordstrom Rack parking lot of Oakbrook Terrace, i break my glasses. i'm bummed. (but nothing a little superglue can't fix.)

the next day, my folks frantically pack for their flight back home after some old-fashioned holiday madness. my mom struggles with finding enough room in her suitcase, so she hands me a little bag to keep that pretty much sums up the past three weeks:


later, during a quick call to check in on how their flight went, my dad starts talking about how nice the weather is in kansas city--how it is so warm, warmer than chicago, that it's so warm that there they are right now standing in Costco with their coats off, just standing there in their underwear.

the end.